Rest Area Rules

Last week while traveling I stopped at a rest area to take a leak. While washing my hands, I noticed a sign stuck to the mirror: “Do not bathe in sink.”

This took me by surprise. Heretofore I had never considered bathing in a sink. Now I was trying to map out the logistics of the operation. “Surely I can’t fit into it,” I thought. “Sink-bathers must wash one appendage at a time.”

But if you put a foot in there and lather it up wouldn’t it get nasty again when you put it on the floor? Or is there a special dance one does to put the fresh foot in a well-placed flip flop? Mysteries abound.

I suppose the biggest problem in the minds of the sign-maker was the possibility of walking in to find some soul scrubbing away at their butts in the place we go to wash our hands. I understand the prohibition, but not why it’s necessary.

Since my curiosity was piqued, I opened one of the stall doors and saw yet another sign. As I suspected. “Please do not wash hair or feet in toilets.”

Now there’s some advice I never thought I’d need. The sink people are not only worried that folks will put their butts where hands go, but also fearful that folks will put their heads where butts go.

What led to this? Can’t you just see a man standing outside the stall doing that little dance one does when one has to do a Number Two. The stall is occupied so he bangs on the door. “Hey buddy! You almost done?”

“I shan’t be long. I just need to rinse out my bangs.”